Aini
life has its own regrets.
but i lead it
n i make sure no ones else does.

ICE ANGEL

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

March 2007

April 2007

May 2007

June 2007

...TAGBOARD

cbox recommended
 

...CREDITS

DESIGNER:  ice angel

 

Brushes: Fractured-Sanity.Org
Photos: 1 2 3 4

GPA is really making me worried..

There have been constant reminders about our preparation

being very late.

On the other hand, with ppl like Seri, Rodheyah, Fira and e rest,

I'm sure we can pull this through.

The storyline we came up with the help of the mly teacher

is kinda interesting too.

So maybe we'll gain an extra oomph.

So hang on ppl.

We should be able to do this.

Anyway, I'm glad everything is ok already.

I'm sorry u two.

I was e bitch.

=)

And thnk u mama for e ketupats.

Fz, thanks for e supportive sms.. Actually, part of e

prob was caused by me jugak. =)

And Rose, I'm sorry kalau u felt e pinch.

I mean, u say 'jgn terasa' but if u ever ever

meant to say that e 'perempuan sial'

was me, then well.. I'm sorry

pasal i swear to god, my post have got nothing to do

with u.

And e problem (which has nothing got to do wit u) dah settle.

=)

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Hoho...

Dun get affected by what i write , ppl.

After all, I din mention names.

And if ur in my shoes, u might understand y.

Its hard listening to a third party telling u what happen.

Its even harder when u HEAR or SEE the truth YOURSELF.

And especially when u meant no harm

And ppl tend to take things the wrong way.

No wonder some girls claim

that they rather spend time with their boyfren rather

than their own girlfrens.

Because wit girlfrens, they have no freedom of speech..

yelah.. nanti kena claim bebual "world"

and girls tend to be in cliques.

I used to pentingkan girlfrens than guyfriends.

Tapi tkpelah.. Tym to chnge my perceptions.

After so many broken promises, being left ousted,

talked behind my back and looked down upon,

u think i can take it?

And after some bitching session with Andy, Firah and Seri.

I'm feeling better.

Bitching IS healthy.

No wonder u guys are doing it before me.

Ok.

Since akulah yg start blogging bende2 merepek.

Aku jugaklah yg akan announce

that I'm closing the case.

Coz its wasting my time.

And everyone else's.

And kalau ader ader third party yg tk involve tapi

konon nk masuk campur dek terasa yg

dia pon affected,

tolonnnggggg...

get a life.

Aku tak akan layan tags atau comments menyakitkan hati lagi.

bye.

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Its already Sunday!!
So fast!!
I havent even get to enjoy my weekends yet
and Monday is already coming!
This is kinda depressing.
Haiyoooo...

Another typical weekend.
You know, sit at home
homework, trying to study but got
distracted by the internet, music and the
irritating 24 year-old sister whom I have
no idea WHY loves to attract attention and acts like
a kid. Trust me, it took me 18 plus years to find out why and
I still doesnt have the answer.

Aside that, my relationships have been taking me
through a roller coaster ridezzzz.
Like at one point of time, I am okay with Mom
and the next thing I know she doesnt talk to me.
Uh yes, my passport have been confiscated by the way.
Which is kinda sad.
Coz it means no more Johor trips for me and Aisah.

Its ok. I'm two years apart from 'The Age'.
Once I reach 'The Age', trust me, I will do whatever

it takes to regain my life which I seemed to have lost.
I'll go for movie marathons, holidaying with my

friends in Bali or Bintan,
camping at seaside, come back home in the wee hours, clubbing...
Actually not the clubbing part.
I hate clubbing.
I remember when I was at a tender age of 14, one
of my exboyfriend has brought me to this Club at Clark Quay
and the only thing I saw were girls
clad in non existent clothes, boys trying to hook up

girls for one night stand!!
People vomiting their intestines out after excessive drinking.
And while I was there, I felt like as if I was one of them -
the dregs of society.

Ok.
Enough about the past.
Lets embrace the future.
To my Mom who never could spend less than an hour talking to my teacher during parent teacher meeting.
To the sister who irritates me but still sweet enough to give me
chocolate cake yesterday.
To my Father who laughs at his brother's silliness which he himself were capable of doing. Hahah.. bapak, bapak...
To the boyfriend who never fails to make me laugh - and cry.

I just feel like cuddling up with B and feeling e sea breeze on our face.

(did u manage to see the 'coded' message?)

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Jangan Marah iyerrrrr... heheheh...

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

its so hard trying to be a normal humanbeing.

when people makes u feel like an alien.

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

I remember blogging about uncontrollable emotions.

Looks like its here to stay.

I'm not sure if this is partly due to stress

but one thing for sure, there's really nothing I can

do about it.

As hard as I try NOT to be angry or hate anyone,

these farce feelings just cannot seem to go away.

With all the disappointments that these few people have given

me time and time again,

I'm beginning to think that these

anger and hatred could well be justified.

But no.

Anger and hatred shuld not be injected into my life.

Coz it will all the more makes it complicated.

Its hard enough trying to not un-hate a person.

Its even harder trying to do the same to three person - at the same time.

And to make it worst, I'm the kind of person who have trouble

keeping my emotions a secret.

When I have problem with ur presence, you will eventually realise it.

Even though I try hard enough not to make it obvious.

Its hard being nice when the other party rides over your pride.

Its hard trying to salvage a friendship when the other party refuse

to do the same.

The hardest thing of all?

Is tat I have to live with it - at least for the rest of this year.

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Hey. I forgot to say Happy Birthday to Nadiah.

Heh.

Happy belated bdae gerl!!!

And to Seri too!!

Semua dipanjang umur. (panjang umur je k. panjang lain tkleh. ehem)

Dimurahkan rezeki.

Jadi boleh share2 ngan aku kan..

Semoga ceria selalu.

Takmo sad sad.

Nanti aku pon sad.

Anyway, I'm pretty sad that e GPA coincides with

our i@fun.

I dunno wat's e outcome.

But I believe I would have to sacrifice one for e other.

Well, I dun think I can give up on GPA

coz if I do, I would be letting Seri down.

And besides, a nice remark

on my testimonial is more satisfying than

having to mingle around e Minds Cafe.

I'm already getting myself busy with the

Geography Project.

With Geog A-grade potentials like Izzati, Hafiz and Rose

and a hardworking secretary like Aisah,

I believe this project will be a success.

And Aisah,

I'm sorry if I've caused u trouble.

I should have been more careful.

Seriously.. I dun know why I messed up.

This is like e second time already.

I'm really really sorry.

And B, get well soon.

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Inilah dia jantan aku.

dah pandai melawa sekarang.

aper nk jadi dengan kau?

ni mesti aku yang ajar...

Andy is backkk!!!!

wEeEeEEEeeEEE...!!!!

It felt like as if we were separated for 434732743t473t years.

=)

And he surprised me with this beautiful and neat wallet..!!

I love it sooo muchhh!!

On the contrary, school has not been a smooth sailing journey for me.

Being in maths class strip me off my pride.

I kept going back to those questioning thoughts of why

I actually made a decision of going to jc.

And watching their smiles of victory after completing

the mind boggling maths questions doesn't help either.

But that does not mean that I'm giving up.

I'm halfway thru the lap and giving up would mean

a waste of the whole of two years .

In other words - all the torturings for nothing?

I better work my arse off for something man..

Econs has been rather okaayyy..

A few misconceptions here and there.

The typical confusions too.

But overall, its still digestable.

Geog?

Let's just say..

Globalization is a big issue which cant be watered down

to simpler topics to be understood.

And let X be r.v for a "teacher who speaks in high pitched tone and doesnt bother to make her lectures simpler".

The probability of getting that X for tutorials?

1 a.k.a 100%.

I went to Geog lecture as a student who doesnt know anything.

I came out as a student who is confused about everything.

In other words, I went in bad, I came out worst.

In conclusion?

Do a research on your lecturers before choosing the subjects they are teaching.

Its ok if they're high pitch. Just make sure you

have a lot of patience.

*deeply in loved with u sayang..

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Arghh!!! I cant believe I'm working this morning!!!

Damn it.

Ok anyway, today is a freaking busy day. With work,
going to NaD's debate if the time permits, rebonding if
I can get my hand to some cash, going to johor with Ngong
Ngeng and if time permits, maybe i can make it for Seri's bdae.

There's just so many things to do.
And have I mentioned that I'm sleeping over Aisah's house??


And homeworks!! Arghhh!!!

I'm feeling stress already.

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

The sweetest fruit is always the forbidden one.

Isn't that the very reason why Adam and Hawa were put on Earth?

To travel more than 4 decades roaming the Earth from one end to the other,

in e malady of loneliness.

Just so that they could be met once again.

So why did I advanced forward,

just for that minute moment of savouring the sweet forbidden fruit?

Coz in that one nanosecond of succumbing to temptation,

One heart could have been breaking into pieces.

Could I ,

Persist on doing this on the pretext that I'm still young

And needed more adjustment, space and widening my social circle,

Before finally settling for the final one.

Was that not the very same excuse I've heard so very often.

The excuse which got my heart broken into pieces.

And got me hoping I would just vaporize into nothingness

Therefore sparing me from the colossal tormenting heartache.

So why did I mirrored the very actions

Which have so many times caused these tears to flow...

Why did I not fight back the sweet temptation?

Knowing that I would be shielding someone else from e hurt

And the bastard feeling of being betrayed.

Because its very hard to do so.

Maybe it would be easier to admit defeat if there's only one hand clapping.

Coz it takes two hands to clap and two to tango.

But.

There are two hands clapping.

And two souls lost in a deep tango.

Please forgive me for this.

For the sake of the beautiful past, the wonderful present and

all the promising future we will share.

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

I just feel like blogging in Malay today.

Okay.

Hari ni perasan ku bercampur baur.

Gentar, takut, syukur, gembira dan juga rasa berdebar.

Agaknya bila kita sedang bersendirian, setan

akan bermain dengan perasaan.

Haiz.

Kadangkala aku merasakan bahawa kehidupan

sederhana lebih baik dari kehidupan mewah.

Bukan mewah hidupku bermaksud harta atau pangkat.

Tetapi mewah hidupku kerana negara yang maju.

Inilah yang ku katakan tempias orang berkuasa,

kita yang kerdil terasa jua.

Sial.

Bilalah si tua kutuk yang merebut kuasa

akan mati.

Namun ku tahu, suatu hari jua dia akan pergi.

Tua tak sedar diri.

Dah negara tercinta dicacak kuasanya.

Kini bangsaku jua dilanyak kutukkannya.

Dahlah.

Cukup setakat ini.

Semoga akan hilang segala rasa duka.

Gementar dan kecewa.

--------------------------------------------------------

Confusion confusion.
Please go away.
I love my Baby too much.
I cant be doing this unto him.

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

It was only yesterday when I made a shoutout abt smelling Fridays
and all tat.


And I cant believe I'm sitting down here today being emotional and all.


*sigh*


Sometimes I wonder why I cant change some of my emotions.


Some of it which I dont wish to be in.


Like being angry for example.


I try to find rationalewhen I'm angry or sad. And when I have successfully argue to myself that
there are reasons why certain things happen the way it had, I still couldnt bring myself out of that anger or sadness pit.


And as for now, I'm having a phletora of feelings.


Angry, frustrated, discouraged and tinge of excitement.


I'm angry with myself for falling asleep when I shouldnt have.
Frustrated at someone for not making the effort.
Discouraged for my flu havent go away and I'm going for a thriathlon today.
Excited to meet Aisah for e thriathlon later.


Oh yes. How about sad?


Sad for e enthusiasm has died.
I wonder why.
Maybe he's just being happy screwing the foreign-yet-not-so-foreign chicks over there.
Talking about which, I and FZ would be doing a research on Sexual Deviation.
How cool is that?

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Goodness!

Thank god its Friday..!!!!!

I just lOOooOOOoove the smell of Fridays...!!

Anyway, I gotta say, school had been a blast today.

Firstly because I laughed a lot. And secondly, because there was no Malay on Friday!!

But let me first clarify.

I do not hate Malay Literature.

I just hate the fact that I have no choice but to sit in the classroom

for more than one hour but learnt nothing at e end of e day.

Not that the teacher is stupid or anything.

He's smart and I'm proud to have him.

But he imparts nothing imperative about Malay Lit and about 90% of his lecture

has nothing got to do with what is going to appear for our exams.

Now, I'm wishing Cikgu Hani will teach us again.

Secondly, today has been a blast coz I laughed a lot.

In fact, too much.

It began with NaD's dudaaaaa-dudaaaaa

to Mr Naughty's extra-big-and-folded-at-the-bottom-pants-which-looks-like-bananas-in-pyjama's(he's still cute nevertheless.. and please... people.. he's a teacher for god's sake.. and stop ur ongoing abt me and him) , Andy's constant "kacang-kacang" which goes thru my head" to the funny nonsensical stuffs me and Aisah were laughing at throughout the journey home.

Anyway, I did something silly like waiting for bus 903 to arrive at e old marsiling bustop when i could have boarded other buses. About a dozen other buses, actually. For the sake of being able to view blk 206. Although he's not there.. I don't know.. I guess only those who are missing someone they love so badly would be able to understand me.. I hope Aisah did coz I actually forced her to wait with me too..!!! =)

Anyway, I'm all geared up for e triathlon tomoro!!

Choa Chu Kang Stadium, here I come!!!

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Losing someone u love is really hurtful. But being left (in every meaning of e word) behind by them while they are still alive is even worst. At least I can forgive you if you're dead.

But I still love you nevertheless. But hate the fact that I cant see you for the last time b4 u went off tmr. All because u made a last minute decision.

But hey, Aini, say HELLO to single life!!

FYI, I'll be single for 10 to maybe 12 freaking days. So in e mean while, back to mugging. Or maybe a short fling. (I'm not into flings, really. I just wrote this in an attempt to irritate the BOYFRIEND, who's btw, should already be in KL today instead of the designated time, tomoro)

HAVE FUN DEAR BOYFRIEND. (sarcasm detected)

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

I havent been blogging for so long, so much so that I actually have forgotten
my username. And spent a total of 10 minutes trying to figure it out. Its
either the nervousness of going back to school that is getting to me or I'm
suffering from short term memory. No wait. I AM suffering from short term
memory!

Ok. So much for having an 'enjoyable' holiday when teachers bombard us with
homeworks. But thats ok coz we actually have 2 whole months to complete
about three days worth of homeworks. But of course, last minutes idiots like me
would always opt for the last minute frenzy. Hell, life is full of regrets (when it comes
to homeworks).

On the other hand, I would say my holiday has been a blast!!

Shopping.New clothes, bags, shoes, and whatnots.
Movie marathon.The Wicker Man. A Night in the Museum. The Holiday.
VCDS.Seed of Chucky. The Night Caller. (there's so many i cant recall)
Sleepovers. Seoul Garden. Engagement. Cheerleading.
Indonesia. More shopping. More sleepovers. Sweets. Kids.
Orchard Road. Farhadiah. Meeting old besties. Books. Laze Around.
Andy, Andy, Andy and more of Andy.

Ok.

I was trying to be succint.
Hopefully it all make sense.

See you!!!

I havent finish geog and econs assgment!!!
Not to mention GP essay and geog report.

wahahahahahahah

 - I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;