BEAUTIFUL MISTAKE

Sunday, June 24, 2007

I know some people are going to blast e highest level on my eardrums.

However, let me first slit this into you.
I lead my on life. And I choose my own path.
In fact, most of the time, the things tt people forces me
to do would result in nothing but a mess or worst - total failure.

Like forcing me to go JC for example.
I am not interested in studies and my results shows.
I don't belong here.

And some people just dun understand.
Its not just the effort. I don't have e love for it.
But look. I am making a name in e fashion business.
People could see I love my job.
I work hard to earn my points.
Because that is where my interest lies.
Okay. Thats not e real reason why I am blogging.
Im done bitching about school anyway.
I have no interest in it.
Im here to blog about my love life.

Yes im single.
But tt doesnt mean im not in love.
In fact, im enjoying every bit of it.
And I know some people hav called me up and said how stupid i was
to fall for him.
But wat can I do? Its e heart issue.
Its not forced.

I love him.

and trust me. when i say love,
its not those typical 'iloveyou uloveme i kentot u lari'
teenage kinda confession.
I know with him we can go far.
And wat is love w/o sacrifice?

That is like. not love.

Love is not about going on dates and everything nice kinda thing.
Its about standing up for each other.
In every moment and problem.
Its about understanding and accepting ones differences, flaws.
Its not only about romance.
Its when you see e person and u know. u'll never leave him
no matter how many problems he has/had.
And wandi is e person whom i feel is right.
maybe not e future.

but as for now.

i know it sounds confusing.
i want to live with him forever. but i have to consider my moms
feelings and how she has sacrifice a lot for me.
but. he's worth a try.
no. he's not tt bastard razaliwandy.
he's katwandi.
he's 35 and divorced with two kids tho not living with em.
and please.
dont ever come up to me and say,
aini. ape ni?
coz i'll slap you right there and then.
its my life.
i dont want to listen to wat other people have to say and then

commit a mistake again and regret it in e later moment.
like how i ended up in a fucking junior college.

=)

sorry if i sound very defensive.

im juz so full of anger today.

i have images of my mom and my teachers in my head.

and i also have images of my interest and

potential career in my heart and mind.

so which do i follow?

is this my life?

or is it theirs?

and another thing is about bestfren. i cant believe she thinks

im trying to play her out.

i did it because im concern godamit.

her fucking bf sms me

saying things like i love you baby. we shud have been together

i will ask her for a break up. then we'll be together

and as a fren, shudnt i be telling her all dat?

fuck.

do wateva u want lah.

kalau u ingat i bastard pon i tk pasal.

im juz so sick of problems.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

so tired lah sey

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

after ive changed e skins.

thn i realised.

it damn messy.

ok nvm.

will change it tmr.

in e mean while..

time to panic.

less than a week left till schl reopen.

and and.

ive changed my hp no.

and even my hp.

my old hp cant be switched on and ive lost all no.

my old sim card broke into two.

dah gone case.

thus e new no.

and fuck.

of all e ppl i could giv it to

i gave it to emy

because he kept pestering me.

and guess wat? he's been calling me non stop

asking me to be his gf.

kepala bhutto.

aku dah malas nk communicate dgn mana2 jantan pon.

kepala otak aku dah serabut.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Sunday, June 17, 2007

im in a godamn big trouble.
i did it out of concern and love for a fren.
but i think i shud hav shut my fucking big mouth.
dammit.
dammit aini.
i understand if u hate me my fren.
and i dun mind if u wana slap me.
but from e bottom of my heart,
i do not want to see u hurt in e future.
i rather u hurt now than later.
u can do wateva u want to me.
slap me. kill me. anything.
i sanggup.
tapi i tk sanggup tgk u suffer in e future.
pasal e hurt now.
even tho its fucking painful,
its not as bad as the future hurt tt u will feel.

i love u my fren.
tats y im doing this.
u can hate me all u want.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Friday, June 15, 2007

trust me, its e lighting tat sux. oh bt still i wouldnt exactly say im pretty. tak akan taruk "wow!! wow!! " mcm ros fizah taruk pat frensta. tk perasan sey annie. anyway ni die kawan baikku bernama nas. yg segila2 dgn aku. dan yg panic bile aku ckp ngan dier aku tahu banyak bende pasal dier. check2 bleh baca org. k tkpe. ni nanti2 leh exsepelain.

Ros Fizahhh strikess againnnnnnnn!!!!<>

Hey people. aku ada pengumuman.If there is anyone who tags nonsense or hurtful things at ur tagboardunder my name, it is definitely not me. Coz this person tags at fz's board saying 'kiwak' - a word i wont even use on my dearest sayang , missyfz.

So yeps. Ros Fizah strikes again. Hahhaa... Sakit hati eh ros, my blog tkde tagboard??Kecian. Tapi awak lupe. Kawan sayer lebih kenal sayer dari awak. Jadi, putuskan sajerlahharapan awak tu iyerr.. jgn mcm pepek gatal nak buat bende bende tak senonoh. Kalau banyak masa tu pergilah turun spa bersihkan muka ke. pergi lasik betulkan mata. plastik surgery naikkan tetek sagging. atau better stil sekali pergi plastic surgery tukar e whole face. muka last warning sey. abeh amek gambar macam tu. aini masuk ur frensta asyik terkejut-terkejut sey ingat yg pat primary pic tu hantu.. rupanya fizah.. astaghfirullah. lagi sikit heart attack nyaris nyaris mati. stop it eh amek gambar macam tu. bukan 'wow!! wow!!' eh. it shud be 'ahh!!! ahh!!! adoimak!!! ingat hantu tadii!!!'. tu baru betol.

k cek kak. sayer tahu awak suke amek tahu hal idop sayer. sayer terharuuuu sekali. terima kasih kerana awak sanggup meluangkan masa untuk membaca blog ini serta memberi komen walaupun tk gerek to the mar tapi its the thought tat counts kan darling? i love you so much ahh ok. k best.

bye ros fizah!! sayer sayang mak awak!!!

annie tkde keje lain. hahhahha. anyway kan. annie sangat excited. nak hug hug nad besok. si kecik ni pi UK mcm pi honeymoon. patut tk ajak annie. dan aisah, gue rindu sama lo. ohyah speaking oh which. aku mati2 ingat oyie pat singapore sey. kuang asam dier bedekkan aku.tkpeeeeee

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Hello semua sayang sayangku.

Yah i know u all have been asking

MANA TAGBOARD???

haha.. ohwells.. annie thinks its better NOT to have tagboard coz its much more interesting tt way.Lagipon, nanti si sundal bernama Ros Fizah tu tag benda2 merepek pat blog aku. Oh yah. Si sundal tu.Dia sebenarnya ada penyakit inferiority complex. Dia paranoid dan takottttt sangat aku nak curik matair dier.Padahal aku dah lama move on.So si pepek ni pergi suruh matrep sesat add aku pat frensta.Kasi comment merepek2.Konon nya nk kenal2.Nasib baik aku tak layan.Aderlah lagi cerita panjang. Tak payah continuelah pasal si Ros ni tak standard ngan aku.So e moral of e story.Kalau Ros pukimak murah ni nak panggil aku 'bitch'go on.Aku mmg bitch. My work place are full of bitches.Dan bende2 controversial macam ni aku dah banyak lalui.So macam dah biasa .... nothing bagi aku lagi.

So anyways.I havent shop for tomoro's party.And these people better come -

Narimah, Ryn, Tasha, Ilmy dan Iqbal.

Pasal ni bdae party pon sempena bdae korang gak. Kek pun dah siap.Tinggal makan dan campak ke muka je. Of coz bukan muka aku eh.Muka narimah keee... Tasha kee.. heheehhe..

Dan dun think abt presentslah.Korang dtg je annie cukuuuupppp happyyy.haaaaa!!! tapikan...aku nak satu hadiah daripada korang.Besok tym potong kek, annie nak bestfrens annie sume kissannie nyer cheeks. Boleh?Lepas tu kiter amek gambar buat kenangan (insert song* kenangan manis kau dan aku.. )

Annie nak kiss dari orang2 berikut

- MissyFz (yg utama!!!!)

- NaD !!

- Aisah !!

- Nisa !!

- Fassi !!

- RosIANA (bukan ros fizah!!! mati aku)

- Fyra (lips to lips bleh?)

- Narimah !!

- Seri !!

- Tasha!!

- Ati!!

- Naqiah!!

- Fitrizah!!

- Izzati!!

Oh yah. My parents and sisters wont be at home. =) So we can blast e music up dan tgk Nisa joget ok? Maybe Aisah dgn Fassi sekali joget melayu. Heh. Eh ni cultural party ke bdae party. Dan besok, if u guys dtg, aku nak introduce kan korang dgn this certain somebody who is very special to me. But he's quite shy and may succumb to arriving either wayyyy too early or wayy too late.

I've got to go to work now.

Later at nite ader gathering to celebrate me , my mom and my cousin's bdae. All 16th june. And also father's day.

Love love.

BYE ROS FIZAHHHHHHH!!!

Aku cinta pada nenekmu!!!!

(ps : fas, ko suker lagu umbrella kan? check out e new remix with chris brown - cinderella )

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Oh wells.

Ros Fizah. ur such a bitch.

For all these while aku tak ader nak masuk campur hal kau,

kau sengaja ask that IkIrAm to add

me juz so that u can see my profile.

Such a childish biatch.

Tsk Tsk Tsk.

And all these while u ask tt bastard

to flirt ard with me juz to see if im cheap enuff to layan?

Too bad gurl. I memang NOT CHEAP enough to layan.

And you wrote nasty comment to him about the

'bitch' 'slut'. Sucha a coward.

Say it to my face you father fucker.

You know what mother fucker?

You are that cheap gerl who slept with him just so you could have him.

Dirty old trick ey?

Dgn muka kau yg macam pukimak sundal tu jantan mana yang nak?

Kiwak kau.

Langgar wire aku. Aku tak masuk campur hal korang kau nk masuk campur

hal aku.

You know wat biatch?

The very fact yg kau masih ikot perkembangan hidop aku is only because

youu feel inferior to me.

You kol me a bitch?

Fine, i am a bitch.

But will u admit ur one too?

Of course you wont.

A genuine bitch wouldnt do so.

You and that fucking Ikiram just go fuck each otherlah eh.

Ros Fizah, puki murah.

Tolong jangan ganggu hidop aku lagi.

And please lah eh.

I AM SOOO OVER ANDY.

Ask my friends lah eh.

I've long moved on.

They will surely tell you that AINI is better off now than last time.

Aini is happier now than last tym and she has a lot

of guy friends now who are wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

better than Andy.

Ok you motherfucker sonofabitch.

You like your name to be here kan sundal?

Memang carik pasal kan?

Puki murah.

Muka dah tak lawa macam tongkang pecah tetek sagging.

perangai macam sial.

pelajaran dah tkde.

ni nak cari pasal dgn aku.

FUCK YOU lah bitch.

Ni antara aku dgn si perempuan sundal bernama ROS FIZAH.

yg lain jgn masuk campur. Not even my friends. ok.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

First of all, let me clear the air. A lot of people have been asking me if I'm attached.And apparently, some have been unhappy with e fact tt I did not informed them about it and claim that I have been leading them on.

Ok guys.

The truth is, and I have repeated this a couple of times on the phone, msn, friendster and even my blog -I am STILL single.Fauzi (e pic above) and Nick (e guy ive blogged abt before)are just my teman-tapi-mesra friends.And the second thing tt I would kindly like to higlite is tt,I am not looking and do not want to be in a relationshp.

Got tt?

I would like to be single for as long as I can,

and enjoy my singlehood. =)

Secondly, have any of u guys seen these girls here?
and here?

and the one holding e bear here?

They seem to have disappear... and god knows wat they are doing and where they are. And I cant stand it coz im missing them like hell.

The third thing is that. I do not know if its true. But according to some very reliable sources, there is an evident of someone who felt a pinch of wat i wrote here even though I was not referring to her. And I went to check. Well, apparently it was true. So let e juz clear e air once again. One of e newbie at my work place is causing a stir among me and my colleagues. I dont know who the fuck got her the work and how e hell she got stuck with us. Its not juz her makeup skills that sucks, its her disability to accept her weaknesses and learn from it that really escalate the urge for us to strangle her neck and throw her down e building. And when we were having conversations during brunch, one of my mates ask which eyeliner is the best to prevent smudges. Of course, we've heard sides of stories for diff brands. Until we got to her and she said ZA, we were all laughing our ass of until partial six packs could be seen. ZA for ur info is only for takde-duit-nak-beli-makeup-benda-cheapskate-low-quality-ni-pon-jadilah kind of girls.

And I was talking about her. Janganlah terasa ye sayang? Anyway, I dun love him anymore. Life's too short to only love one person. And besides, I've met better people. So yah. Lets not waste time on this anymore ok small girl? Make full use of ur time to learn to apply tt celak properly coz it looks ugly. And also to help out mak dekat kedai makan. You might juz grow up and end like her. Just stay away from drugs ok honey?? *wink

Do tag me if ur not happy with anything. OPPPSSS! I forgot, my blog mana ada tagboard? Die dah lari.. heh.

And btw, I don't have to TRY to be one. I AM one. =)

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Monday, June 11, 2007

I've found my paradize!

Yes, i belong to the world of beauty, fashion, makeups, where black

is still e new black.

Where colours are wat we play with.

Where bitches are whom we meet everyday.

Where bitches are what we are.

So yeps.

I'm a makeup artist now.

I am very much contented with my life now.

And exsqueeeezzeee mua.

ZA dah tk main lagi lah eh.

ZA untuk tweenies dan teenagersss..

We are made up of Bobby Brown , Shu Eumura , Clinique etc

Ok gerl..

Ur sooo budak kecik.

And yes, i know this sounds childish and tho im a farcry

from being childish,

i hope u DO know tt i still hate you.

And very much so.

BIATCH.

It was a goodddddd thing u came.

I wouldnt have come this far.

And far away frm YOU.

and ppl. please dun ask me where i go, what i do, where i work,

hows my school, yada yada yada.

Coz i wont entertain you.

And if you miss me, good.

I miss you too.

And if you don't, well...

thats just too bad.

Coz I couldnt care less.

And yes, Tasha, I miss you like hell.

I wanna meet asap.

And NaD, you're back!!

Hugs and kisses ok darlz???

Bye all.

And yes, I am still single. And not looking.

I love my life now.

Single.. flirtatious.. e attention.. all those controversy.

itsjustsomeee...!!

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Saturday, June 09, 2007

This Nick here.

Is he hot or watttt...???

A body equivalent to iron.

Lips that looks hotter than Dicaprio's

We've known each other for nearly two years.

We meet - discreetly when I was attached.

And hell, now tt I'm single... we dun hav to be discreet anymore..

I'm missing u like hell NICK!!!

You hear meeee?????

Yes, he's as hot as hell.

But too bad gurls.

He's mine..

All mineeeeeeeeee!!!!

*cheeky laughter

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Friday, June 08, 2007

You're arrested.

for being too kinky.

Buahahaha... ok.

~~Somehow. I fulfilled on of my inner fantasy.~~

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

You've been waiting so long

I'm here to answer your call

I know that I shouldn't have had you waiting at all

I've been so busy,

but I've been thinking bout what I wanna do with you

I know them other guys,

they been talking bout the way I do what I do

They heard I was good, they wanna see if it's true

They know you're the one I wanna give it to

I can see you want me too

Now, it's me and you

It's me and you, now

I've been waiting

Think I wanna make that move, now

Baby, tell me if you like it

It's me and you, now

I've been waiting

Think I wanna make that move, now

Baby, tell me how you like it

I was waiting for you to tell me you were ready

I know what to do, if only you would let me

As long as you're cool with it,

I'll treat you right

Here is where you wanna be

I know them other guys, they been talking bout the way I do what I do

They heard I was good, they wanna see if it's true

They know you're the one I wanna give it to

I can see you want me too

And now, it's me and you

It's me and you now

I've been waiting

Think I wanna make that move, now

Baby, tell me if you like it

It's me and you, now

I've been waiting

Think I wanna make that move, now

Baby, tell me how you like it

Baby, I'll love you all the way down

Get you right where you like it,

I promise you'll like it

Just relax and let me make that move

Keep it between me and you

Now

I've been waiting

Think I wanna make that move, now

Baby, tell me if you like

It's me and you, now

I've been waiting

Think I wanna make that move, now

Baby, tell me how you like it

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

ive wrote a long fucking long post.
and then someone had to make me angry.
so rather thn i write abt dier, i mite as well shut up and tido.
mata pon dah ngantuk.

i'll leave my life as it is, thank you.
i told u im commitment phobic.
i dun even hav a boyfren and already someone
is trying to control my life.
wrong person lah eh....

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Holiday without your friends feels like wearing baju w/o underwear.

hahhaa.. u get my drift.

went out with an interesting fella yesterday.

laugh like mad.

got freak out.

laugh somemore.

eat junk food.

secret sharing session.

movies.

photos.. camwhoring.

heh.

after we parted everything went anticlimax siak.

i nid to make wiser decisions next tym.

makeups. photoshoots.

and more irritating clients.

who still dun see e need to shave their eyebrow e right way.

bodoh.

like wat i ve told a lot of ppl.

unless u trim ur eyebrow or u let me trim ur eyebrow,

dun cum to me for makeup.

unless u want me to make u up for halloween.

u want my service, u jolly well listen to wat i hav to say.

im not paid u know.

im only an understudy.

heh.

wait till he sees my ability.

maybe he would grant me a place.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;

Friday, June 01, 2007

when e sun shine, we'll shine together.

told you I'll be here forever.

said I'll always be a friend....

I miss you.

Nadiah.

Fairuz.

Aisah.

Hafiz.

Dinie.

Mana korang?

Nisa... Fas.... Fyra

i miss u all like hell.

I miss you too, Fuad.

I feel lost w/o all of u.

pls cum back from UK.

pls cum back from kampong.

pls meet me fairuz.

on a lighter note, i'll be meeting another one of

my best friend =)

with pictures up later. aite aite.

I LOVE ALL OF YOU MY FRIENDS.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too...# ;