Hellooooo beautiful people!! Yes, I know I've been mentally missing-in-action even though i'm physically visible to u guys. Yes, yours truly was experiencing that period of time whereby everything in her life just feels so wrong..Apart from financial constraints and school-related problems, there was the boyfriend problem.
Actually, to be more precise , the ex-boyfriend problem. Well, if I am not defaming anyone here , but if it makes me feel better, then hey, I have the right to do so.
Let me just make the story simple here. A month before the block tests, i started getting busy what with the cheerleading comp and me being warded the hospital and me having a really really hard time trying to catch up with school work. During that time, I was at the brim of my patience and was always shedding tears almost every night. On the other hand, the Ex-boyfriend thought that I was not spending enough time with him.
SO yaddah yaddah yaddah. He kept quiet. Din want to tell me the problems and all.. And at the very point whereby I wanted to make nice and start paying more attention to him, BAM! He threw the bomb on me. He wanted a break up. And to make matters worst, Andy did it in the middle of my exams. Now, how cruel can someone be?
No, no. Its not the end yet. To really really make me feel like an animal, he claim to me that he actually have a girlfriend!! He admitted that he did not like the girl (well of course. according to his friend, the girl is freaking ugly and stick thin) he went on saying that he dosnt love the girl or have any feelings for her. Implying tt he is using her to get over me! And than, try to fall in love with her. I don't know if u see this, but its a very childish and selfish thing to do.
Yes, i was sad and depress cried till mata bengkak lebam semua. But thanks to Fairuz, Nadiah, Nisa , Fira and Aidillah who listened to me pour out my sorrows. I really really felt better.
But a special thanks to mom. For the Doa n e encouragement. I love you guys. I feel like crying now not because of *him but because I've just realised that I've been blinded all these while. Eveytime i have a problem, its my family and friends who were there for me. Not Andy. He was more absorbed into his own life and his own problems that he refused to see other people's problems.
And at the end of the day - this was what mom taught me.
I am better than those people who hurt my feelings.
I can live without these people.
I have the right to make mistakes.
Its your problem is you cant forgive me.
Even God forgives all our sins.
So what if he has a girlfriend, I am still better than her.
If he wants this breakup, its his loss not mine.
I have a higher education than him, he should be the one who feels the loss.
He hurt me a lot of times, he is not worth my precious times
So what if people treat me bad, I don't owe them a living.
So what if people hates me, god still loves me.
So what if I breakup with a boyfriend, I will find someone better.
And at the end of the day, I am going to put all my efforts into my studies and excel.
I will be earning thousands of dollars and be able to look at him and say,
"It was a good thing u left me. U might have been a burden in my life"
"It was a good thing u left me, I wouldnt have met someone better"
I am better than you, Andy.
I am better than her.
I, am better because when I fall, I pick up myself, not use someone to get over you.
Therefore, let me say this again.
I AM BETTER THAN YOU ANDY. IT WAS A GOOD THING U LEFT ME.
